Jacket
by CandiesAndAftershave
Summary: AU-ish; from canon. "For a minute he'd believe this, fists tightening and anger growing, and Gabriel's name becoming a curse under his tongue. He'd let himself get so wrapped up in this, that he would forget there was no next time." Sam gets too caught up in pretending it didn't happen. / Oneshot, with no real purpose, and probably not very original. A poor attempt at angst. Repost


**Title: ****_Jacket_**

**Pairings/Characters: Sam/Gabriel, slight mentions of Dean.**

**Summary: AU-ish; from canon. "For a minute he'd believe this, fists tightening and anger growing, and Gabriel's name becoming a curse under his tongue. He'd let himself get so wrapped up in this, that he would forget there was no next time." Sam gets too caught up in pretending it didn't happen. Oneshot, no real purpose.**

**-.-**

**Set in the world where Sam and Gabriel had a sort of fling going, where the angel flirted with him at every chance and showed up just to do that really.**

**Warnings: Confrontation, a bit OOC.**

**-.-**

_"If you're watching this, I'm dead."_

It was said so casually, Sam could almost believe it were a joke. How many times had the bastard already faked his death? He'd witnessed it enough that he could at least no longer put it past the archangel, and for a minute he'd run with this. The video wasn't… it wasn't _serious _enough for a death message, even coming from _Gabriel, _he would lie to himself. And hadn't the trickster himself admitted that "killing himself" was a running joke now, a shot fired only to get a reaction out of Sam-?

"_Your reactions are hi-larious, bucko. Dean-bean called it a, what was it, 'bitch face'?"_

For a minute he'd believe this, fists tightening and anger growing, and Gabriel's name becoming a curse under his tongue.

Gabriel thought that forgiveness was hard _last time_? Wait. Just wait. _Next time, _he was going to make Gabriel go on five hunts with Dean, _next time_, Sam was going to make him beg, _next time-_

He'd let himself get so wrapped up in this, that he would forget there was no next time.

He fell back on the bed, blinking heavy eyes and glaring at the ceiling. How many nights had it been, how many months? How many times had he combed through the video, searching for any hidden messages? Every night since it'd been given to him, after Dean fell asleep – God, how would he have explained the _obsession? _– he'd tried to prove that Gabriel hadn't been killed by Lucifer. And that… that it wasn't their fault, for urging him to confront his brother, _and it was selfish, he'd admit._

There was nothing. Gabriel's smug face – _not even bothering to look somber _– as he rubbed it in Sam's face.

"_I was pretty much your only chance at defeating Lucifer. Sorry about that one, God just hates the fucking Winchesters and figured I might as well go too._"

Maybe that _wasn't _what he said, but wasn't that the idea of it?

"_It's gonna be the death of you, Sam."_

His eyes, which had slowly started to close with his exhaustion, now fluttered back open rapidly, as he shot up, rigid. That one sounded almost as if… almost as if he were here. But no, he recognized those words – almost a lifetime ago now, watching Dean die repetitively, day after day until he'd finally just _begged _to have it all over with…

He'd tried letting go.

"It doesn't work! Stop playing games with me, Gabriel!"

By this point, he wasn't sure who he was actually talking to – Gabriel, or himself?

_"Sometimes you just gotta let people go."_

"I can't." His voice was filled with regret, his shaky palms running anxiously over the knees of his pants. He'd always known that years of hunting would finally catch up to him. He was going crazy, finally losing it. Dean was going to have to put him into a goddamned asylum and they'd all believe him because his only defense would be that he was talking to the angel that had killed his brother time and time again. He laughed, and fell back into the mattress, and _he was laughing until his body ached at the sides and he just felt sick. _"Damnit Gabriel I've _tried. _You weren't supposed to die. You're supposed to be here watching me, telling me I'm being such a _girl _about it and sucking on your _damn suckers _and telling me that it was alright to love you and all of that isn't gone-"

He was only met with silence.

Slowly, he took a deep breath, glancing over to make sure that Dean hadn't heard anything before swallowing and closing his eyes.

_"You need to calm down, bucko."_

"I don't want to play this game again." He grounded his teeth together, his teeth squeezing more tightly shut. Was he broken now? Was his mind going to keep throwing Gabriel's voice at him until finally Dean did wake up to his thrashing around and screaming?

_"How much sleep have you been getting? You look exhausted."_

"Obviously not enough if I'm still hearing you." There was a faint chuckle, and fingers ran over his forehead, brushing back stray locks of brown hair. His eyes fluttered open, his body stretching as he grabbed at the gun hidden underneath his pillow. Another hand suddenly pressed to the wrist of his own, pinning it down and prohibiting him from doing so.

"You never learn, do you?"

The voice sounded less distorted, and Sam ground his teeth together as he met golden eyes defiantly.

"He's dead." He growled, struggling to escape the strong grip. "Dean—Dean!"

His brother nearly stirred, but the imposter archangel bent to press their lips together, cutting off his cries. He let out an aggravated sound, thrashing around to try and get free.

"Fight me off on your own. What are you going to do when Dean's dead-?" He said down at him, almost mockingly. In that same way that Gabriel had. Sam growled again under his breath, trying to rip his wrist from the hand that pinned it.

"I don't know!" He said honestly, his teeth grounding together so tightly that it began to hurt his head. "I don't know, _get the hell off of me-_"

"You weren't supposed to mourn me." Gabriel said viciously, pinning him down again. "You were supposed to move on. It was a lesson you had to learn – Dean's no good for you, and neither was I! You're going to get yourself killed!"

"But I wanted you there!"

Sam roared, flipping them over suddenly and pinning the other down – almost ineffectively, because the archangel was still so much stronger.

"Did you think of that in your lessons? What was the point of surviving by myself?! Dean was all I had, and then you showed up sucking those _dumb _cherry suckers that I imagined tasted like _heaven _on your lips-"He dug his fingernails into the wrists. "Maybe there was no point in _living _without you two, and now you're gone because you tried to teach me some damn lesson-"

The other's lips slammed against his again, knocking their teeth together and causing Sam to momentarily loosen his grip. They had rolled over quickly, crashing from their place atop the bed. He winced as his head hit the floor, but had the feeling he wasn't exactly dizzy from only that. These lips were skillful with years of practice that Sam hadn't been alive for, and when the archangel nipped at his lips, Sam made a pleased noise and consented eagerly.

Gabriel's arms were at both of his sides, keeping him pinned to the floor. His long legs were awkwardly positioned to hold the archangel between them, as he switched from kissing his lips to trailing kisses and bites along his neck, shoulders, collarbones. He was still being aggressive, and his fists were clenched against the floor, as though ready to punch something. Sam let out a particularly embarrassing noise he was pleased Dean wasn't awake to hear, and shifted underneath him.

"You never learn. I'm trying to-" He paused to bite down again. "_teach you_."

"Thought that counts." Sam offered, voice dripping with sarcasm. Gabriel growled again, slamming his hand against the floor and meeting the hunter's lips again to shut him up. He let his hands tangle into the archangel's hair, and then dig into his back, trying to draw him closer.

"It's not - you could do so much better for yourself if you'd even _try _to listen." He sits up, pulling Sam with him and settling into his lap.

Sam is overall done with talking to him, and tries to link their lips again - _he's waited long enough for his almost boyfriend to decide he's not dead - _but having a strong archangel for an almost boyfriend doesn't often equate to him getting his way. Gabriel stays just out of reach, narrowing his eyes.

"And you still aren't listening."

He closes his eyes, frustrated.

"Can't it wait? Until I'm actually awake enough to prove your arguments are _ridiculous_?"

"Sure, Samsquatch." He says, in a sickly-sweet tone Sam isn't exactly acquainted with. "Hope you have _great dreams_."

"I didn't mean-"

Gabriel places his hands on Sam again, sedating him via use of angel magic just to spite him. He doesn't feel himself being lifted from the floor.

**-.-**

"Sammy? Sam!"

Sam's eyes snapped open again, and his eyes darted around furiously, hoping to meet the pair of golden he'd seen last night. He met disappointment when he found that his brother was the only other inhabitant of the room. His heart sunk, and he slumped over.

Just a dream, again.

"You were, uh, crying." Dean didn't look like he knew how to handle that, exactly. He wasn't fond of the chick flick moments, and to be honest, Sam wasn't either. Even if he _were, _he wouldn't be sure on how to explain to his _womanizing brother _that he was crying over having a dream about his dead almost boyfriend.

He did _not _want to hear the sexuality talk from Dean. On a list of things the Winchester brothers were _not _doing together, that one was pretty high.

"Thanks," He muttered, taking on a calm voice he was proud of.

"No problem." Dean said, sitting on the edge of the bed before glancing up. "If ya want to talk about it…?" He muttered, but Sam was almost _positive _he could his brother praying to God, Cas, anyone he could think of really that he could get out of this. Nice support.

"Not at all." He chuckled, not missing the over exaggerated sigh of relief his brother shot his way. They were silent for a minute, but Dean hadn't moved – Sam, glanced up at him, to see Dean staring at him oddly.

"What?" He asked finally, exasperated.

"Were you with a girl last night?" Dean said after a moment's pause.

"Why would you think that?" Sam rolled his eyes, but his older brother jerked at his shirt collar.

"I recognize those marks, Sammy. Isn't my first time out." He said flatly, and the younger cursed slightly. "Besides," Dean added, and stretched out, easily plucking a small, green jacket – stretch on the word _small_, because it wouldn't be fitting Sam. _Ever - _from its spot on his bed. "you can't exactly tell me this is yours."

In fact, it looked suspiciously like the one that Gabriel wore—

"No I can't." He dropped the jacket into his lap, rolling his eyes up at the ceiling. _Of course. _"I was with a girl. And no, no details, and I wasn't _crying during sex. _Don't give me that look."

_That night, it was not pressed to his face as he slept, and it definitely did not hold the smell of sweets and aftershave that Sam had never missed._

**-.-.-**

**I had no other way to end this.**

**So many regrets.**

**Maybe more supernatural one day idk**

**_Review pls_**


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